With technology becoming an increasingly integral part of our everyday lives, sometimes it can be difficult to know where to draw then line when posting on Facebook. However, some people go so far past the line, that it’s more like a dot to them. I have taken the liberty of outlining some Facebook Faux Pas that will undoubtedly get you defriended.
- The sympathy seeker: “Cannot believe that just happened. Could this day get ANY worse!?”: Bold move, tempting fate like that. Because as it turns out, a sure fire way to make even the worst day worse is to blatantly attempt to elicit sympathy on Facebook only to receive no likes or comments, and to be de-friended by a handful of people who are fed-up with your sympathy-seeking antics. And although, after scrolling through your friends list, you still can’t figure out who any of those abandoners were, you feel personally offended. However, no matter how offended you may be, FIGHT THE URGE to commit this next Facebook faux pas…
- The oddly specific letter to no one in particular: “Dear people who apparently think that it’s okay to de-friend someone just because they are having a TERRIBLE day…” Interesting tactic, writing a letter visible to literally everyone on the internet EXCEPT the people that you are actually addressing.
- The personal letter to an inanimate object: “Dear 8 a.m. bus, why are you always late?” or “Dear gross and completely unpredictable weather, please let me know next time you plan on starting to downpour on my way to class. Sincerely, pissed off soaking wet girl.” Points for being melodramatic, but fair warning: putting “Dear…” at the beginning of a complaint, doesn’t change the fact that it’s a complaint. And no one likes a whiner.
- The uncomfortably specific letter to an anonymous recipient: “Just because your ex cheated on you with your sister, mother, the majority of your sorority and your sexually-confused second cousin doesn’t give you the right to seek revenge on couples that are actually happy. Leave my boyfriend alone, skank!” Gee, I wonder who you could possibly be referring to…the irony is that most of the time that person isn’t even their Facebook friend, or is blocked from seeing the status. The wonders of passive aggression never cease to amaze me.
- Sub-category of the above category: The Hypocrite: “When I have a problem with somebody I have the balls to say it to their face, unlike some people who apparently prefer to just talk behind my back.” Oh my, I think I’m dying: The irony, the hypocrisy…really, you’ve outdone yourself…it’s too much.
- The painfully awkward and obvious statuses: “That awkward moment when your crush doesn’t respond to any of your messages, but updates his status.” Oh girl, if you think that’s bad, try that awkward moment when thousands of your Facebook friends read your pitiful status and realize how needy and pathetic you are. Perpetually single, FTW!
- Public Service Announcement regarding TMI in Facebook statuses: This is just a friendly reminder that Facebook is not your diary. Keep your sexcapades, personal problems, medical symptoms and ailments, and any other cringe-worthy info. off of my mini-feed. K, thanks.
- The Preacher: You can always count on this holier-than-thou friend to post links to sob-stories, and quotes that make you feel guilty for being alive. Luckily, you can almost always find a cute kitten Youtube clip elsewhere on your mini-feed to cheer you up.
- We get it…you’re dating: “Seriously have the best boyfriend in the world! He is making me dinner while I get to be lazy on the couch five whole feet away!” Technology is cool and all, but believe it or not there is a more efficient method of communicating a personal message to someone five feet away from you. It’s called “talking,” pretend you’re a caveman and give it a whirl.
- Wedding bells can make Facebook hell: Oh, the perpetual countdown to the wedding day. “Only 172 days until 2 hearts become one!! I love you Jeff- you complete me and I can’t wait to start our life together!! xoxoxox”…. “171 days until I marry the love of my life!!!!”…but it doesn’t stop there. There are also all of the pre-wedding drama posts: “OMG are there any wedding bands out there that don’t SUCK!? Seriously considering just plugging in my nano LOLZ jk omg so tacky. Ew.”
- Bad grammar makes my eyes hurt: Who are these people? They’re people that use terrible grammar in their Facebook statuses. If you’re one of them, please consult your dictionary before posting on there again. See, that wasn’t so hard.
- Self-shot mirror pictures (Oh, the horror!): Facebook is a social network; if every picture of you is taken alone in a bathroom, you probably don’t belong on that site.
If you got a kick out of these, you should totally check out Failbook.com, they have loads of them and they are all hilarious!
Rainbows and unicorns until next time.
xx,
K.
enjoyed this…
thanks so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog
I’m enjoying your’s as well!
Great article, if only the people who truly need to follow these guidelines would actually read this post and change their ways.
haha I’m sure there are like a thousand passive aggressive facebook statuses dedicated to me right now. “Dear Bloggers who take issue with my statuses…”
And then there are the political ranters…
haha I forgot about those because I de-friended them all so long ago!
1DIbAr ermhmlsvmghs
Oh, yes, Deborah DeLong, “And then there are the political ranters…” . You said it. Agreement in full. TV supplies enough of that…
eZBATS kovdvvuuyhjw
Spot on!
thank you!!
Love this. I have at least four friends on Facebook per each of the criteria listed here.
People are dumb and deserve to die. Facebook is proof.
Ha! I’ve done some of that!
*applauding reverently*
haha thank you!! *bows*
BTW, thanks to you, I’ve deleted my status “siiiiiigggggghhhhhhhh (rolling eyes)………….”, so thanks for that.
hahaha
ecHi3y wusvqkerbmfw
Today I actually had this come up on my news feed:
$*$%&ӣ : Like this if you care about me
and later:
$*$%&ӣ : Like this if you care about me
$*$%&ӣ : Bump
wow, just wow. desperation is so unattractive. Thanks for sharing! xx
One of those ‘friends’ with whom you only remain Facebook friends, just to see what bonkers thing they’re about to come out with next!
haha “too funny to unfriend”
haha! recognised so many of these from my Facebook ‘friends’! love it
There’s also this site, don’t know if you’ve already been there, but it’s so funny. http://www.lamebook.com/
Awesome, thanks for sharing!! I will definitely check it out!
zduMsF qjrekrudbkwo
This was fun reading over breakfast. One of my friend’s dogs is on facebook. She can’t be blamed for stuff he says…right? Looking forward to your next topic!
haha dogbook? Fascinating. I’m glad that you enjoyed the post- thanks so much for your comment!
I really appreciate this…I’m thinking next time I run into one of these, I’m simply going to refer them back to this post !
haha, thank you!! Please do!
Kathleen,We are already in the pecorss of working on that, we to as a board would love to make it more convienient for parents. This however will take a bit of time to arrange for payment pecorsses and such to be set into place. Thank you for your suggestion
j5wB5F zmbcxqewaldl
This is why I don’t have a Facebook page…
haha fair enough!
You are genius
. I enjoyed this!!!
Thank you so much!! I’m really glad that you enjoyed the post! Your blog is really awesome! I’m looking forward to your next post!
Funny as fark !!! Love it and like a few others I keep some of these people around purely for entertainment value .. oh and Sarah is right Lamebook is hilarious you have to check that one out .. also there is one called Failbook.com if you havent heard of it that ones really funny too ( I love the facebook send-ups , so addictive
)
Xx Kel
oooh i just realized you obviously have seen Failbook ! Duh ! .. I am having a bit of a blonde day .. week … ok month
xx
hahaha totally fine, no worries. I certainly have my blonde moments!
You hit the nail right on the head. Well written post. Believe it or not, I am shocked to see some of the FB status’s or pictures, which are sometimes so personal, that the world doesn’t need to know it. “Mr.X just checked in at Starbucks!” – Great, congratulations, I am so happy that you are getting yourself a coffee!
What’s even more irritating at times is someone you don’t know so well…decides to poke you! Excuse me…but do I know you that well? And if you are expecting me to poke back…keep waiting ’cause it’s not going to happen!
haha good point! Yes, personally I feel like Facebook should add a “reality check” button along side the poke. Some people just lose all sense of boundaries when online. Thanks so much for your comment!
Sad, funny and true. “Having fun with Jane” scenario wouldn’t surprise me at all. Just can’t imagine the same things spoken face to face, or in a group of ‘friends’.
seriously! I suppose that’s why they say the more friends someone has on Facebook, the less friends they have in real life- some of them just have no idea what boundaries are or how to act appropriately in social settings.
Lol very witty. I’m loving the regular posts!
Thanks so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog! xx
Excellent and timely post. I’d share it on FB if I didn’t know how offended some of my FB friends would be when they read it!!
haha, well, they will have to learn one way or another
I’m sure there are countless annonymous statuses dedicated to me right now: “Dear bloggers who think my statuses are annoying…”
Made me laugh so badly! And it is also so true! I hate it every time I check my Facebook and I get to see all that, ew.
Thanks so much! I’m so glad that you enjoyed the post!
xx
Surely did. x
There’s this chick on one of my FB groups – tells us she needs to go pee.
So, I told her – TMI chick. Way!! Do I really need to know about her bodily functions? Now, if she said she was going to pee ON somebody – might have been a bit more interesting
Good post
Haha that’s ridiculous. Idk who finds it appealing to have all of cyberspace know about their bathroom habits. To each is own though, I suppose…as long as it’s not littering my mini-feed, that is
Spot on. May I post this to my Facebook page?
Please do!!!! Thanks so much!
Great read! I’m 28 and don’t have a personal facebook but i’m an old school country boy, I don’t care to blab to the world about to much, “just sat down to take a crap, ohhhh pray for me guys” that type of stuff. I’d rather be doing something productive like… well reading your blog about stuff other idiots do on FB and lmao!!!
Oh, K…! Thank you for saying what no one else seems to be either able to say, or able to spell correctly. When social media goes banal. Wonderful job as always! BTW, don’t know where you find them, but the photos, etc., you have used are terrific. Cheers!
Thank you so much! I think I’m blushing haha
I love this post!
You didn’t mention “To be honest(s)” though! Haven’t you ever seen those obnoxious status updates where people say, “To be honest?” and those who reply get an “honest” comment from the original poster?
On second thought, the only facebook friend I know who does this is in junior high, so maybe you haven’t seen them. If this is the case, I’m jealous.
Sound suggestions, sorryiamnotsorry, thank you for this post…
thanks so much for your comment!! I’m really glad that you enjoyed it!
xx
I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is
written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty.
You are wonderful! Thanks!
Amazingly insightful post. And hilarious. And hits home as well.