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I’m a funny, free-thinking girl who loves philosophy, disco dancing to 70′s music, going on spontaneous adventures, and living life to the fullest. I love dogs and have an inexplicable affection for elephants. I know who I am and I know what I want out of life.

The Physics of Getting Physical

Dear K.,

One of my guy friends always cracks jokes about us hooking up. Sometimes I just laugh it off and he drops it, but other times he keeps hinting until I have to politely decline. I really like this guy as a friend and I don’t want to push him away, but it’s starting to make me uncomfortable.

Sincerely,

Uncomfortable

Dear Uncomfortable,

First of all, there is nothing funny about being indecently propositioned. Additionally, you politely decline something that is graciously offered to you such as an invitation, gift, favor, or job. You do not politely decline unwanted sexual advances. “Oh, it is just so sweet of you to offer to defile me, but you know, I think I’m going to have to pass.” If it sounds ridiculous, it’s because it is.

He is “joking” about sex in an effort to gauge your reaction (I do the same thing with my friends all the time: “It would be pretty funny if I can’t find a real job and have to live on your couch…HAHA…ha…no but seriously…”). Responding with timid recoil gives him hope that if he keeps pushing you, you’ll eventually cave.

When in doubt as to how to handle an unexpected situation, I often find it helpful to apply a slightly modified version of one of the most notorious Laws of Physics: every action deserves an equal and opposite reaction. Thus, if he acts in an outrageous manner, you need to respond with an equally outrageous reaction. Try something along the lines of “How DARE you?” (Bonus points if you amp up the dramatic effect with an accompanying face-slap). Trust me, he won’t try it again.

If you have a question or are in need of advice, e-mail me at sorryiamnotsorryblog@gmail.com, or see my ‘Advice’ page for more details!

xx,

K.

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8 Comments on “The Physics of Getting Physical”

  1. Casey Jean Whitehead March 20, 2012 at 4:05 pm #

    OMG BIGGIE I LOVE YOU. Your posts are awesome. Keep it up!

  2. Ankur Mithal March 21, 2012 at 7:36 am #

    The “Find x” figure is very funny. Probably exposing my stupidity, I could not get the connection with the words that followed.

  3. pharphelonus March 27, 2012 at 1:29 am #

    Dude probably really digs you and really likes you, too, and doesn;t know how to bridge the gap. Ask him if he means hooking up, like no strings attached, or something more. That is, if you care to know, or if it would make any difference. Otherwise. tell him to stop painting you as a notch in a bedpost and don;t tolerate it any more.

  4. victoriasvisits March 30, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    HAHAHA! Loved the “Amp it up…” Awesome! 🙂

  5. The Hook April 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

    Your friend simply isn’t allowing enough blood to flow back into his brain!
    I’m sure he means well.. he’s just too horny to know any better!

  6. Cyrus April 26, 2012 at 8:29 am #

    I almost feel bad for the pervert, but anybody who acts like that needs serious help and being pimp slapped just might be the therapy he needs lol

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