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I’m a funny, free-thinking girl who loves philosophy, disco dancing to 70′s music, going on spontaneous adventures, and living life to the fullest. I love dogs and have an inexplicable affection for elephants. I know who I am and I know what I want out of life.

Why Boy Scouting Won’t Earn you a ‘Relationship’ Patch


Alright Girl Scouts, I have sat idly by listening to people tout the merits of “boy scouting” for long enough. For those of you who are new to the realm of dating stalker-style, “boy scouting” is a method of attempting to snag dates by getting all dolled up and then going places where the type of boy that you’re interested in pursuing would likely be. The concept goes something like this:

Interested in a rich man? Go to high-brow bars near fancy office buildings or seductively sip over-priced martinis at member-only golf courses

Interested in a buff, ripped man? Go to the gym or GNC (that Muscle Milk’s not going to buy itself!)

Interested in a smart man? Go to book stores and manly museums (i.e. ones with guns and/or icky things)

Interested in a romantic, handsome, intelligent man? Go back to bed and keep on dreaming (ha)

However, this is not the best way to get someone to buy your cookies. Here’s why:

1. Live YOUR life, not the life of your currently non-existent, potential future boyfriend.

  • You only have one life to live so enjoy it! Do things that you love; things that make you happy, enrich your life and help you grow as a person. If you focus on yourself and on being complete and happy as an individual, you don’t have to go boy scouting because boys will be drawn to you. Being the perpetual cheer-leader for efficiency that I am, using my time in a way which allows me to maximize personal benefits while also minimizing the amount of time spent feigning interest in foreign cigars while silently choking to death on tobacco smoke, is a win-win.

2. You’re putting his interests ahead of your own.

  •  If you shared common interests with the kind of man that you were pursuing then you wouldn’t have to go out of your way to run into his type. Thus, it would follow that you are essentially pursuing someone that you have nothing in common with. That means that if a relationship was to develop it would be premised on your pretending to be interested in his… [golf swing, Civil War reenacting, stamp collection,  MMA competitions, obsession with microbrews, love for Russian literature, etc.] Personally, I would gladly sacrifice the coveted ‘in a relationship’ status on Facebook any day if it meant getting to forego months of that self-inflicted misery.
  • Obviously if your interests are limited to knitting circles and crocheting you may need to expand your horizons a little bit as you are unlikely to find a man who is as passionate about learning to pearl. However, that doesn’t mean you have to drop the knitting needles and start going to monster truck rallies in order to find a guy. Simply expand upon your interests until you hit on one that’s more co-ed friendly. Volunteering at a Farmer’s Market, joining a hiking/outdoors club or a walking/running group, or looking for common interest groups for everything from antiquing to Latin dance on public forums and websites like meetup.com are all good ideas. Pick something that you would enjoy regardless of whether you met a boy there.

3. Don’t quit your day job 007; you’re not as stealth as you think you are.

  • When you show up to the driving range wearing stiletto heels, or to the hunting lodge wearing your must adorable camouflage mini-skirt, guys KNOW what you are doing and fair warning: it seems desperate. Guys can smell desperation on a woman just as easily as a woman can smell another woman’s perfume on a man. And in both cases, it’s a red flag. If a woman is getting all dressed up and going out of her way to do something she clearly doesn’t even have a clue about, the logical assumption would be that she is pretty desperate to find a man- why else would she go to all that trouble? This is why pursuing your own interests is a much better idea. When you seek to do things that you are actually passionate about, it is attractive because it shows that you are happy and content with who you are, as opposed to desperately trying to appear as someone you’re not.

Final Note: I cannot tell you how many times I have read or heard people suggest joining a gym to meet men. Let me save you $50 or more per month plus annual membership fees: unless you won the genetic lottery and don’t sweat, pant, or turn red while doing cardio…you do NOT want to meet men at the gym. If you go to the gym in full make-up, freshly styled hair and a $200 spandex ensemble that looks like something Rihanna would wear on tour, you will get far more eye-rolls than phone numbers. However, if you go to the gym and actually exercise, you will spend the whole time silently praying that no one looks at you, as will everyone else there.

So don’t pout Girl Scout! Live your life, love yourself and you’ll be earning your ‘Awesome’ patch in no time…and then ALL the boys will want to try your cookies.

xx,

K.

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34 Comments on “Why Boy Scouting Won’t Earn you a ‘Relationship’ Patch”

  1. evea192 March 26, 2012 at 3:32 pm #

    Very nice, im new to your blog and loved this post.

  2. pharphelonus March 26, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

    Very true stuff. I find that when women stop looking, their chances of finding what they want are so much better. Men want a real you, not a contrived you — though if you keep the thigh-highs with the lacey tops, we can find a way to work them into something …

    • sorryiamnotsorry March 26, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

      hahaha truer words have never been spoken. Thanks for the comment!

  3. Heather Michele March 26, 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    Great post! And I completely agree with you about the gym being the stupidest place to try and meet someone. Personally, I enjoy working out in ratty pajama pants, an old t-shirt with no makeup on…I think I do this partly to ensure that no douchebags try to talk to me while I’m wheezing and panting on the treadmill! 🙂

    • sorryiamnotsorry March 26, 2012 at 3:54 pm #

      haha, I’m right there with ya girl! The gym is by far the most awkward place to get hit on: “Oh, you want my number?” Let me just dry-heave over here in the corner for a minute and then I’ll get right on that.”

  4. 68ghia March 26, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

    I’m 100% with you on this one chickpea!
    It just does not seem worth the effort 😉
    Rather have a life that suits you and that allows you to look yourself in the mirror in the morning!

    • sorryiamnotsorry March 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

      Thanks so much for your comment!! You’re absolutely right- chasing down boys requires time and effort that would be better invested in yourself. Nothing is more attractive than a woman that is happy and complete, so love yourself and your life and let the boys spend their precious time chasing YOU!

  5. deanjbaker March 26, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

    nicely done

    • sorryiamnotsorry March 26, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

      thanks so much!! Glad you liked it 🙂

      • deanjbaker March 26, 2012 at 5:15 pm #

        I did – hope you’re enjoying my work, too 🙂

      • sorryiamnotsorry March 26, 2012 at 5:16 pm #

        Yes sir! You truly have a way with words. I love your blog!

  6. Let's CUT the Crap! March 26, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

    You are absolutely RIGHT! Know yourself first and stay interested in what YOU like to do. Stay true to YOURself so the man you meet will fit into YOUR life not you into HIS.

    I LIKE this post a LOT.

  7. Spookysister7 March 26, 2012 at 4:25 pm #

    I love the final note, lol! So true! 🙂

    • sorryiamnotsorry March 26, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

      I’m glad that you can relate to my distaste for meeting men while looking like I’m dying haha. Thanks so much for your comment!! xx

  8. dederants March 26, 2012 at 4:37 pm #

    Reblogged this on DeDeRants and commented:
    Love this post!!!!!

  9. waxinglyrical1 March 28, 2012 at 10:14 am #

    Amen sister! coudn’t agree more! it may work if you looking for a fling, but in the long run it will never work, your true self will seep through, and if it doesnt he will figure out your just a lie!

  10. A How To Site On Getting Girls March 28, 2012 at 10:53 pm #

    I had a girlfriend who showed up for a golf tournament wearing soccer cleats.

  11. Let's CUT the Crap! March 30, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

    Love this post. Thanks for the follow. I’ll be back here too.

  12. Norman Leehan April 4, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    As a Newbie, I am continuously exploring online for articles that can help me. Thank you

  13. Booker Wruck April 6, 2012 at 8:21 am #

    I am not sure where you’re getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for great information I was looking for this info for my mission.

  14. DeMorrieaux April 10, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    LOL. So true!
    Love this blog!!
    Hahahah 😀

  15. The Hook April 10, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    Let’s get real, you can be atotla train wreck and ALl the boys will still want to enjoy your cookies!
    Men aren’t very picky predators.. especially theese days!

    • sorryiamnotsorry April 10, 2012 at 12:07 pm #

      They may want to try them, but they sure won’t want to buy them!

      • The Hook April 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

        Very true…
        Sorry about my spelling, by the way…

      • sorryiamnotsorry April 10, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

        no worries at all!

  16. heart2woman April 10, 2012 at 7:42 pm #

    This blog post was much needed!! Thanks!! ❤

  17. Wing's Intent April 10, 2012 at 9:17 pm #

    noted, female perspective of the courtship, interesting and interested in.

  18. smilepua April 11, 2012 at 3:19 am #

    This is fantastic! I didn’t know this tactic actually had a name! I have to share this on some of the sites I give dating advice on!

  19. grmaval April 11, 2012 at 6:49 am #

    Nice stuff, in the dating world on and off line one needs all the advice there is to avoid scams.

  20. ramblingmommy April 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    love love love this

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