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I’m a funny, free-thinking girl who loves philosophy, disco dancing to 70′s music, going on spontaneous adventures, and living life to the fullest. I love dogs and have an inexplicable affection for elephants. I know who I am and I know what I want out of life.

Fashion for Dummies: 10 all too Frequent Faux Pas

1. Foot faux pas:

  • Athletic shoes and jeans: Not okay, ever. Ballet flats or boots are practical alternatives.

  • Socks and sandals: Ditto. Nope, not even for you Grandpa.

  • Statement Socks: I don’t care that Carly Rae Jepson wore socks with stilettos on her album cover; she’s now down to 14 minutes.  Proof that no good comes from electing Ugly Betty as your fashion icon.

  • Commuting Casual (i.e. suits with sneakers): Trying to commute in heels is not high on any woman’s To-Do List, but wearing sneakers with a Versace suit runs the risk of having people peg you as the crazy lady on the bus. I recommend Dr. Scholl’s roll-up flats for a less appalling alternative.

  • Crocs: Just because Crocs are comfortable does not make them socially acceptable. There is plenty of comfortable footwear out there that doesn’t look like it was custom-designed for an obese nurse who moonlights as a clown.

  • Uggs: Uggs are a gateway drug to bad fashion choices. Increased wearing of leggings, sweatpants with words on the butt, and in severe cases, denim cut-offs and miniskirts, are common side-effects experienced by owners of Uggs.

  • Moccasins, and anything else reminiscent of an old man’s bedroom slippers has no place in public. Don’t even get me started on sweater boots.

2. Less is more: If the amount of jewelry and accessories you are wearing would cause you to body-slam a magnet, tone it down.

3. Leggings are not pants: I don’t care how many fives of dollars you spent on them; they ALL become sheer when you bend over. Thus, the origin of the ‘only wear leggings with tops with a below-the-butt hemline’ Rule. Comply or die (in a strictly social sense, of course).

4. Let me just bottom-line this for you: Wearing athletic clothes in your daily life does not make people think that you’re athletic.

  • I get it: yoga pants make just about everyone look like they have a rockin’ booty, and wearing a giant hoodie creates the psychological delusion of being teeny tiny comparatively. But the general assumption when a person wears gym-attire on a daily basis is not that they are just so busy working out all the time that they have to be ready to run a 5k at any given moment. The assumption is that they either don’t own real clothing or can’t fit into it.

  • And while we’re on the subject: cocoon sweaters, sweater capes, and all other massive parka-like atrocities aren’t fooling anyone. A top that actually fits your body as opposed to attempting to hide it in a sea of wool-polysynthetic blend will be infinitely more flattering.

5. When given the choice between a bad hair day and a baseball cap: choose dry shampoo and a quick up-do. Unless the question is: What is the fastest way to make people think you haven’t showered recently? Baseball caps are never the answer. Ever.

6. Don’t dress ironically. Irony is for plot-twists, 90’s music, and legitimizing the fact that you still own a Walkman—not for clothing.

7. I see London, I see France…OMG she’s not wearing underpants! Don’t underestimate the value of undergarments. This lesson was immortalized by Britney Spears that time that she forgot to wear underwear (that time being 2010-2012). The following fashion faux pas are possibly the fastest route from upstanding citizen to skank.

  • VPL (also known as, the visible panty line): The ultimate panty-related offense.

  • Whale Tail (a.k.a. a girl’s thong hanging out over her pants). This is an epidemic due to the increased popularity of low-rise pants. Luckily it can easily be cured…with a belt.

  • A bra can be a wonderful thing…or an uncomfortable boob-prison that can cause a wide array of unflattering effects such as armpit boob, uni-boob, and back-fat. Solution? Get measured by a professional (not the sketchy guy you met online) every six months or so.

  • Bra straps showing a la Pamela Anderson: In middle school we were sent home if our bra straps were showing at school. At the time it seemed excessively harsh, but now I would actually be in favor of such a policy as applied to everyday life. It’s easy enough to avoid this trashy look though: just invest in a racer-back bra, or any number of very affordable bra-converting clips.

8. Life is short; skirts don’t have to be

9. Transitions lenses: It pains me to say this, being the perpetual cheerleader for efficiency that I am, but sometimes you have to weigh the costs and benefits. In this case, the benefit being the five to ten seconds that you will save by not having to swap out your sunglasses for your prescription eyewear each time you enter or exit a building, and the cost being that you will look like a total D-bag, basically all the time.

10. Mom-Jeans: The evil stepmother of low-rise jeans.

Until next time, stay classy.



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39 Comments on “Fashion for Dummies: 10 all too Frequent Faux Pas”

  1. Smile October 17, 2012 at 11:44 am #

    This just made my morning!

  2. jensine October 17, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    I love my leggings but I always make sure I have a long skirt, dress or top over it and UGGS hate them

  3. Tania October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

    This is so hilarious! Interesting post 😀

  4. unfunfriend October 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm #

    Haha – commuting sneakers are my biggest pet peeve !

  5. Tara October 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

    I agreed with all your faux pas… and yet I still wear these fashion tragedies (mainly loving my Uggs).

  6. Namita Lad October 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    amazing one..i too don’t really like crocs and the way girls were leggings OMG…a big No..i have seen some wearing with short tops..isn’t acceptable..liked the idea of strip clip..didn’t know about it..time to buy one now 🙂

    • sorryiamnotsorry October 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm #

      Thanks so much for your comment, as well as for the reblog! 🙂 xx

  7. Namita Lad October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm #

    Reblogged this on What Life Says and commented:
    no more fashion disaster 😉

  8. Soul Walker October 17, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    I now think of you of Dr. Zoe Hart’s party planning friend from NYC who gets her into trouble by hosting a classy party in the small town that Zoe moved to. Thank goodness for netflix… otherwise my bouts of insomnia would be way more painful.

  9. The Conservative Hill Billy October 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

    I am a golfer….and a product of the 80’s…nuff said about my sense of fashion 🙂

  10. Let's CUT the Crap! October 17, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    I haven’t had this good a laugh for a while. The leggings: O.M.G. Yuck.

  11. pharphelonus October 17, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    funny stuff. so those shades aren’t transition shades? LOL

  12. overpolitemyass October 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm #

    Although I agree with many of your points (like the tights without anything covering them, ew!) I have to disagree on some of them…

    Like wearing sneaks with jeans and a baggy sweatshirt or sweater. I’m a university girl and unfortunately, fashion takes a back-seat to comfort/warmth most days (I also live in Canada and it gets COLD). I can’t wear heels easily or comfortably and still trek around a huge campus with an over-large backpack on. I see some girls doing it, but they always look like they are about to fall – or they are the profs. And I did try it first year – I ended getting stuck in the cobblestones of the walkways.

    So I’d have to say these are more based on day to day life, out in the public world not so much at university (or at least mine).

    Overall I loved your post tho 🙂

    • sorryiamnotsorry October 17, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

      Thanks for your comment! I will say that I’m a graduate student with a very rigorous academic schedule, and I don’t find it a struggle to avoid committing any of my self-proclaimed faux pas. Ballet flats or boots are a good alternative to sneakers or heels, and a jacket is a practical and stylish replacement for a hoodie. But you have to do what’s right for you. Thanks again! xx

  13. Katie October 17, 2012 at 8:59 pm #

    Great list! I will not admit to how many I break sometimes. But, I will say: no one messes with the crazy lady. 😉

  14. kindredspirit23 October 17, 2012 at 9:12 pm #

    I am working on the crocs thing. I had a stroke a few years ago and it is hard to put on my favs (sneakers / tennis shoes). Your blog is very funny. I picked it up from another blog. Thanks for the laughs and the insights.

  15. bonaru October 18, 2012 at 1:41 am #

    So funny! Thanks 🙂 I see men wear sneakers with suits too. And one guy in a giant panama hat.

  16. Lola October 22, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

    I am totally guilty of the running shoes with jeans and the Uggs and yoga pants offenses. Does it help that my running shoes are actually used to run and my Uggs are leather?? Either way I’m not stopping 😉

  17. iwouldratherbewriting November 29, 2012 at 1:57 am #

    nice one…you have a perspective here… but i kinda don’t agree all that much with athletic shoes and jeans not going well together…ofcourse, they don’t make a great pair, but i feel that many a times, when we have to do a lot of running around and at times where all that matters is comfort, one would want to team jeans up with athletic shoes or canvas shoes.

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    • sorryiamnotsorry January 5, 2013 at 1:18 am #

      Thanks for your comments! Feel free to keep them coming. I will be making new posts this week 🙂

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  25. Anonymous May 12, 2014 at 6:12 am #

    I don’t agree with you on the mom jeans and dressing ironically. I personally love seeing people look nice and put together while still not looking like every other human in the world. i love that those types of outfits makes the person in it stand out. I also love mom jeans because there are some really nice crop tops you can wear with it and it also makes you look like you have longer legs. I run a Japanese fashion blog so my tastes are a bit altered from what most people like.

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    I don’t agree with you on the mom jeans and dressing ironically. I personally love seeing people look nice and put together while not looking like every other human in the world. I love those types of outfits because it really makes the person in it stand out. I also love mom jeans because there are some really nice crop tops you can wear with it and it also makes you look like you have longer legs. I run a Japanese fashion blog so my tastes are a bit altered from what most people like.

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