1. It is possible for someone to survive getting shot in the chest during an intense fight on top of a moving train, fall about a thousand feet into the river below, and appear to have drowned. However, it is not necessary to address how.
Author Archives | sorryiamnotsorry
Halloween: The Aftermath…Lessons from the Wreckage
At approximately 4 p.m. on Halloween day I made the worst decision that anyone can make at 4 p.m. on Halloween day: I went to Party City. I spent the next 45 minutes grabbing on to long grey wigs and Freddy masks to avoid being swept away by the crowds of crazed shoppers, all desperate to create a novel costume from the pittance of odds and ends littering the baron aisles of the store. I saw two year olds and twenty year olds in tug-of-wars over the same one-size-fits-all fairy costumes. It made me wonder…why?
Fashion for Dummies: 10 all too Frequent Faux Pas
Crocs: Just because Crocs are comfortable does not make them socially acceptable. There is plenty of comfortable footwear out there that doesn’t look like it was custom-designed for an obese nurse who moonlights as a clown.
The Birthday Blues
I find birthdays to be the most perplexing of all holidays. For starters, every person in the whole world was born. It seems counterintuitive that this is the accomplishment that we have universally chosen to celebrate. A baby has literally nothing to do with being born, and yet on the day designated for celebrating birth, they reap the rewards. All the while the unsung heroes: broken condoms and wine coolers, are failing to get the recognition that they deserve.
Fifty Shades of Grey: An unapologetic review of this hot new novel
I can honestly say that this book gave me a lot to think about…like, what the fuck is an inner goddess? Is it still abuse if an orgasm is involved? Has “fifty shades” always been an expression? Is a sex contract legally enforceable? How many people that I know have secret sex dungeons? Is it socially acceptable for me to read this book in public?
Taking the Mystery out of Romance: How to Tell if He Likes You
There is a certain bash-your-head-against-a-wall charm that accompanies a crush. The frustration of not knowing whether the feeling is mutual and the pain-staking analysis of the signs are enough to test the level-headedness of most women, never mind the added challenge of maintaining the illusion that you couldn’t care less. I have heard many a girlfriend bemoan the tortures of a crush, whining in between bites of Ben & Jerry’s that she simply wished she knew if he felt the same way. Well, for all of you ladies out there dotting your i’s with hearts…your pleas have been answered. By the end of this article you will have a very good idea about whether or not your crush is keeping your misery company.
How to Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: A Girl’s Guide to Surviving a Crush
A crush is basically the Survivor of romance. It is what separates the strong from the weak; the girls from the women. The only difference is that if you can conquer this ultimate challenge you won’t be left standing alone on an island…you’ll have company.
How To Avoid Dating a Sociopath in 10 Simple Steps
Although anyone who has ever caught a late-night episode of Dexter may disagree with me on this point, the majority of sociopaths aren’t vigilante serial killers. However they are far from harmless and they are more common than you may have thought. Studies indicate that about 1% of the population can be categorized as […]
When a Cooties Shot Won’t Cut it
Just because you got your cooties shot doesn’t mean that you’re in the clear. As it turns out, there are a host of other man-specific-ailments that a circle-circle-dot-dot regimen may not be able to prevent. This article hi-lights some of the most common ones.
