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WORST DATE EVER

Like most tragedies, this one started on Tinder.

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BACHELOR SEASON 19, EPISODE 6 RECAP, A.K.A. DING-DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD

“Chris and the remaining girls head to Deadwood, South Dakota, and if that doesn’t sound like it would be “Home of the Boner-Killer” then I don’t know what does…”

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The Bachelor, Episode 5, A.K.A. “OMG WHAT EVEN!?”

The cocktail party is cancelled…and this season’s villain is born.

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THE BACHELOR SEASON 19, EPISODE 4, A.K.A. THE “PRINCESS DRESS” DIARIES

First group date: Meghan, Kaitlyn, Ashley S., Ashley I., MacKenzie, and Kelsey The card reads: “Let’s do what feels natural.” Clearly what “felt natural” to the girls was frantically putting on foundation, waterproof mascara, fake eyelashes and hair extensions. The “natural” date turns out to be swimming in a lake that Kelsey describes as a […]

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The Bachelor Season 19 Episode 3 Recap a.k.a. “That time Jimmy Kimmel ruined the Bachelor”

In what is sure to go down as the most epically catastrophic cross-promotional disaster to date, The Bachelor and Jimmy Kimmel joined forces this week to make Bachelor viewers nationwide uncomfortable. This episode was less about the girls and more about Jimmy Kimmel…making non-stop “jokes” about sleeping with the girls. I honestly hated it so […]

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The Bachelor, Season 19 Episode 2 Recap

Episode 2 started out like a low-budget telenovela. Episode 1 reject Kimberly returns to the house and confesses to Farmer Chris, with all the teary-eyed drama you’d expect, that she felt like she was supposed to be here and that she felt like she was supposed to meet him. Cliché background music plays as she tells Chris through sniffles that she couldn’t leave “Without at least just looking [him] in the eye and just, you know, like, just asking if [he] could just like talk, for like just a few minutes.”

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Fifty Shades of Grey: An unapologetic review of this hot new novel

I can honestly say that this book gave me a lot to think about…like, what the fuck is an inner goddess? Is it still abuse if an orgasm is involved? Has “fifty shades” always been an expression? Is a sex contract legally enforceable? How many people that I know have secret sex dungeons? Is it socially acceptable for me to read this book in public?

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Taking the Mystery out of Romance: How to Tell if He Likes You

There is a certain bash-your-head-against-a-wall charm that accompanies a crush. The frustration of not knowing whether the feeling is mutual and the pain-staking analysis of the signs are enough to test the level-headedness of most women, never mind the added challenge of maintaining the illusion that you couldn’t care less. I have heard many a girlfriend bemoan the tortures of a crush, whining in between bites of Ben & Jerry’s that she simply wished she knew if he felt the same way. Well, for all of you ladies out there dotting your i’s with hearts…your pleas have been answered. By the end of this article you will have a very good idea about whether or not your crush is keeping your misery company.

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How to Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: A Girl’s Guide to Surviving a Crush

A crush is basically the Survivor of romance. It is what separates the strong from the weak; the girls from the women. The only difference is that if you can conquer this ultimate challenge you won’t be left standing alone on an island…you’ll have company.

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How To Avoid Dating a Sociopath in 10 Simple Steps

  Although anyone who has ever caught a late-night episode of Dexter may disagree with me on this point, the majority of sociopaths aren’t vigilante serial killers. However they are far from harmless and they are more common than you may have thought. Studies indicate that about 1% of the population can be categorized as […]

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