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The Bachelor, Episode 5, A.K.A. “OMG WHAT EVEN!?”

The cocktail party is cancelled…and this season’s villain is born.

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20 Things I learned from the latest James Bond movie, Skyfall

1. It is possible for someone to survive getting shot in the chest during an intense fight on top of a moving train, fall about a thousand feet into the river below, and appear to have drowned. However, it is not necessary to address how.

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Fifty Shades of Grey: An unapologetic review of this hot new novel

I can honestly say that this book gave me a lot to think about…like, what the fuck is an inner goddess? Is it still abuse if an orgasm is involved? Has “fifty shades” always been an expression? Is a sex contract legally enforceable? How many people that I know have secret sex dungeons? Is it socially acceptable for me to read this book in public?

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Are You a Stage 5 Clinger?

For those of you who haven’t seen Wedding Crashers, a stage 5 clinger is a member of the opposite sex who becomes exceedingly attached to someone in an unreasonably short period of time. You know the type:  they want to be in constant contact, they text you “just because” every 5-7 minutes, they start planning the wedding […]

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When someone asks me why I wear sunglasses at night

I’m like,

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